Richard
Ganz
In my
youth I spent every afternoon studying the Hebrew
Scriptures, five days a week, and on Friday night and
Saturday I worshipped. As I grew older I worshipped for a
time each day in the synagogue morning and evening. I would
rise before dawn and before going to the morning service,
in obedience to rabbinic tradition, I would put on tefillin
- the boxes containing God’s law - on my forehead and
arm.
Then one cold, clear midwinter night my life was shattered.
My father had a heart attack and I ran for comfort and hope
to the one place I thought I would find it - the synagogue.
The doors were locked and as I hammered on them I looked up
into the New York night sky, cold, crystal-clear and filled
with stars and I cursed God. "I am through with you!" I
said. But that night, as I turned away from the God of
Israel; the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, little did I
realise that he was far from through with me.
The next twelve years of my life were not lived in the
synagogue. In my rebellion I went so far as to renounce the
covenant name given at my circumcision -Elkanah. I modified
it a little, so that I was no longer Elkanah but Kanah.
In the Bible there is nothing accidental about names. Abram
means, "Exalted father" and Abraham means, "Father of a
multitude". When he was 99 years old and Sarah was 90 and
they were promised a son they laughed at God. But God said
he would give them a son and they named him Isaac, which
means, "laughter".
When Jacob and Esau were born and Jacob pulled at the heel
of his brother he was named for that action; the name Jacob
means, "the grasper" and all his life he grasped. He
grasped after the blessing and the birthright. He lived up
to that name and when he met God and wrestled with him he
said, I want your blessing. God said, What is your name?
You want a blessing, grasper? No longer is your name
"Grasper"; you have grasped with God and you have
prevailed. Your name is, Israel - he who has wrestled with
God and prevailed.
The Hebrew name Elkanah means, "Possessed by God" but I
changed it to Kanah, translated Cain in English versions of
the Bible. Cain means, "Possessed"; and for the next twelve
years of my life I was possessed with the world and with
what it offered; I was possessed with getting ahead in
life; I was possessed with Rich Ganz. I led what appeared
to be a very laudable life. I moved ahead in what I desired
to do. I went through university and graduate school, from
which I graduated top of the class. Following my internship
and a year of post-doctoral study, I was teaching at a
medical centre at a major university.
THE
TWILIGHT ZONE
During
my year of post doctoral studies, the realisation hit me
one day at a staff meeting that psychoanalysis - the area I
thought provided the answer to life - was nonsense. Until
that point I had been searching for some form of therapy -
individual therapy, group therapy, hypnotherapy or some
other kind of therapy through which I could discover the
meaning of life: what we we’re all about and why
we’re here. Instead, I discovered that it was all
rubbish. But instead of looking for the answer to life
elsewhere I cynically told myself that although
psychoanalysis was meaningless I was going to become very
rich practising it. If life was meaningless at least I
could have fun by being wealthy in a meaningless life. All
I had to do was sit in a chair listening to my patients,
nod my head every few minutes, and charge $75 an hour.
To celebrate my selection from 212 applicants to that
position at the university medical centre my wife and I
took a trip to Europe into a series of unbelievable
situations. We had tickets for Athens scheduled but the
night before we picked them up my wife suddenly sat bolt
upright up in bed saying, "We can’t get out of
Athens! We can’t get out of Athens!" The next day
when arrived to pick up our student-rate tickets we were
told that the tickets would get us into Athens but not
out!
Nancy
became terrified. She thought she was in the Twilight Zone;
something, supernatural had happened and the only
interpretation she could place on it was that it was
something evil. We changed our plans and found ourselves
being drawn inexplicably and inextricably in a direction
totally contrary to our agenda.
We ended up in a little Dutch town looking for somewhere to
stay. No one knew of any hotel or inn. Night was falling,
we were on the banks of the Rhine, it was getting a chilly
and my wife was frightened. She then did something she
hadn’t done since she was a child - she prayed. It
was a very simple prayer: "God, if you are there, please
find us a place to stay". At that moment , out of the
darkness of an alley walked a man of average height, very
pale, with long blond hair and blue eyes. "Ask him", she
said.
"TELL
THEM BUCK SENT YOU."
He told
us to go three blocks down, turn right, walk another three
blocks and we would see exactly where we were supposed to
stay: "Just tell them Buck sent you", he said. It seemed
bizarre but we followed his directions until we came to a
co-operative for the students of the last gold and silver
making school in Europe. During the next two weeks we saw
all the people who had told us there was no place to stay.
They were all friends with the young people who lived in
this house but there was one person we didn’t meet
again; for two weeks we searched for Buck. No one in the
town had ever heard of him or recognised our description of
him. A year later I was receiving letters from students who
were still trying to find him.
On the last day, as we were leaving, someone handed me a
slip of paper with an address and told me there were "some
really beautiful people" there. I knew I was being drawn in
a certain direction and it seemed as though every step was
being taken for me and it was predestined.
We arrived at L’Abri at about five on a Saturday
afternoon. I had prepared a careful explanation as to why
we were suddenly turning up on their doorstep. However,
before I could say anything, the door opened and we were
greeted: "You’ve arrived! Welcome.".
"ANYONE
AT THE CROSS COULD HAVE WRITTEN THAT!"
The next
few days were interesting. They were full of religious
discussion. But as a man with no sense of God, seeing
myself as a chance accumulation of molecules in an absurd
and meaningless world, I listened and talked to these
people, questioning and mocking their beliefs. Then one day
a man asked me if he could read something from the Bible to
me. I consented, and this is what he read.
Behold, My Servant shall deal prudently; He shall be
exalted and extolled and be very high. Just as many were
astonished at you, so His visage was marred more than any
man, and His form more than the sons of men; so shall He
sprinkle many nations. Kings shall shut their mouths at
Him; for what had not been told them they shall see, and
what they had not heard they shall consider.
Who has believed our report? And to whom has the arm of the
LORD been revealed? For He shall grow up before Him as a
tender plant, and as a root out of dry ground. He has no
form or comeliness; and when we see Him, there is no beauty
that we should desire Him. He is despised and rejected by
men, a Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.
I’d heard that expression "Man of sorrows" and
"acquainted with grief" before, though I wasn’t sure
where. But at that point I suddenly understood what was
happening: they were reading to me about Jesus. I thought,
Do they know what they are doing, reading this Christian
stuff to a Jew? But I told myself to be patient.
Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet
we esteemed Him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted.
But He was wounded for our transgressions...
Images of Renaissance paintings leapt to my mind. I
wasn’t an ordinary Jewish guy; I had a doctorate; I
was cultured; I’d seen paintings with crosses; I knew
that their guy had been pierced. They were trying to read
me stories about Jesus and I felt the anger rising in me.
He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement for our
peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed. All
we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned, every one,
to his own way; and the LORD has laid on Him the iniquity
of us all.
Jesus just bore your sins! I couldn’t stand it. That
was just a cheap way out of long term psychoanalysis. What
they were telling me was "the Catholic way". From the age
of seven, when I had walked into a Catholic church I
thought Jesus was a Catholic: Scandinavian, perhaps, very
delicate, tall, thin - slightly anorexic - with long silken
blond hair and piercing blue eyes. I had got as far as the
vestibule of the church, looked at one of the statues and
thought that the ground was going to open up and swallow
me; that I was unalterably damned for having done that and
I ran eight blocks home to get away from what I considered
an unpardonable sin.
He was oppressed and He was afflicted, yet He opened not
His mouth; He was led as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a
sheep before its shearers is silent, so He opened not His
mouth. He was taken from prison and from judgement, and who
will declare His generation? For He was cut off from the
land of the living; for the transgressions of My people He
was stricken. And they made His grave with the wicked --
but with the rich at His death...
I remembered pictures of Jesus on the cross and the two
thieves, one on either side of him. Three crosses - I knew
that stuff; they weren’t going to fool me with their
rhetoric.
...but with the rich at His death, because He had done no
violence, nor was any deceit in His mouth. Yet it pleased
the LORD
to
bruise Him; He has put Him to grief. When You make His soul
an offering for sin, He shall see His seed, He shall
prolong His days...
There was the myth about the resurrection. They get it into
all their literature, don’t they. They can’t
accept the fact that once a person is dead, he’s
dead. Grow up! Put away your infantile neuroses and realise
that when you’re dead, you’re dead;
that’s it.
...He shall see the labour of His soul, and be satisfied.
By His knowledge My righteous Servant shall justify many,
for He shall bear their iniquities. Therefore I will divide
Him a portion with the great, and He shall divide the spoil
with the strong, because He poured out His soul unto death,
and He was numbered with the transgressors, and He bore the
sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors.
When he finished reading, he looked at me and said, "What
do you think?"
I was, of course, keen to give the benefit of my insights.
They were obviously quoting to me from their New Testament
and I responded without a moment’s hesitation:
"Anyone who was there at that cross could have written that
stuff! What does that prove?"
He handed me the Bible and in a millisecond of receiving
it, my life was changed. The name that I saw at the top of
the page was Isaiah! They had been reading from my Bible,
my Hebrew Scriptures and I felt as though someone had taken
a sword and cut me to pieces. When the man who read it told
me it was written 700 years before Jesus was born, I felt
dead. Why couldn’t it be Krishna? Why couldn’t
it be Buddha? Why does it have to be him? I knew at that
instant that if Jesus wrote history about himself in my
Bible - if the Gentile God was the Jewish God and he was
truly God - then I had to submit everything to him for the
rest of my life.
A
BIRD’S EYE VIEW OF THE BIBLE
During
our stay at L’Abri, someone gave my wife Nancy a tape
by Edith Schaeffer called, A Bird’s-Eye View of the
Bible, an overview of the Scriptures from Genesis through
to Revelation in 40 minutes, dealing with the theme of the
Lamb of God. From her earliest days until her confirmation
she had been familiar with the phrase, "Behold the Lamb of
God", and always wondered why Jesus was given that name.
Just as I had learned from Isaiah that Messiah was to be a
sacrifice for sin, Nancy discovered the same truth from
that title given to Jesus. After listening to the tape she
went out to the apple orchard at L’Abri and
surrendered her life to Jesus Christ.
FOUR
LITTLE WORDS
When we
returned to the United States I was given a patient at the
medical centre who hadn’t spoken an intelligent word
in four and a half years. My assignment was, "Get Immanuel
to speak four or five words coherently". He came into my
group therapy session, sat down and began to hyperventilate
and writhe around. He said, "I’m Jesus Christ!" I
pulled out a Gideon New Testament and read from the 24th
chapter of Matthew’s Gospel: "Then if anyone says to
you, ‘Look, here is the Christ!’ or
‘There!’ do not believe it ...For as the
lightning comes from the east and flashes to the west, so
also will the coming of the Son of Man be".
Silence.
"Where did you read that?"
I threw the Bible to him, "In the Gospel of Matthew. Read
it."
And for a month he was silent, then he came to my office:
"Dr. Ganz [I was impressed], I want to become a
Christian."
I
took Immanuel into my office, shared the Good News of Jesus
with him and, with tears, he received Christ. The next day
the director of my department called me into his office.
"Rich", he said, "I have been here 31 years and I’ve
just heard the craziest story. Immanuel has been running
around the ward telling everyone who will listen that
he’s saved."
I interrupted at that point: "How many words did it take
him to say it?" I was hoping they’d realise what
great success this was.
"And that’s not the worst of it, Rich", he said,
"he’s attributing it to you. Many people wanted your
job, Rich, and I’ll tell you what we’ll do. If
you promise never to do this again - do it after work if
you must - but if from nine till four you leave Jesus out,
we’ll forget this ever happened."
I asked for a day to think and pray about it and the next
day I said, "Howard, I’m going to share with you what
I believe", and I summed up by saying that I must obey God
and could not keep Jesus from my patients. I was fired and
Immanuel left the hospital with me and went to Bible
College where he prepared for missionary work.
I couldn’t believe what had happened. Psychoanalysis
was all I knew; I couldn’t do anything else with my
life. If I went to another hospital or another university
the same thing would happen. I thought everything was over.
Someone suggested that I go to Westminster Theological
Seminary where Dr. Jay E. Adams, the author of a number of
books on counselling was a professor. I spent the next four
years studying at Westminster and working with Dr. Adams at
the Christian Counselling Centre. Through this God led us
in a very unusual way into something I never would have
chosen to do or to be involved in - pastoral ministry. The
years have not seen me smiling and happy all the time.
Daily breaking and humbling by God has been excruciating in
some ways. God had called me to preach his Son and, as Paul
of Tarsus put it: "Woe is me if I do not preach the
gospel."
Through my story I have tried to preach the gospel to you
so that you also may come to believe in the God of Abraham,
Issac and Jacob and in his Messiah, Jesus.